Gene – I’ve got an interview with another company on Wednesday.
Samson – Dude. Make your exit as painful and unexpected as possible.
Gene – Heh.
Samson – Salary?
Gene -[Undisclosed figure] which is about 1000 more…
But, dude, coming in this morning I was thinking to myself, “Okay, calm down. The job’s not that bad. Just relax. Ride it out and chill on the job search. You got a lot on your plate with class and trying to keep your wife happy and healthy.”
Then I got in and a bunch of horsecrap got dropped on my head by the boss, and she’s not even in the office. And then a recruiter got back to me a couple hours later.
Let’s just say I’m going to shave.
Samson – Dude… only [undisclosed figure]? That’s a crappy area for jobs in your field, huh?
Gene – Yeah, we don’t make that much, even in your area. At what I was making when I was there, I was too expensive for 75 percent of jobs up there. You struck gold with your position.
I use the term “gold” loosely, because I used to work for your agency, and the thought of working there for the next 30-40 years made me want to go ahead and just buy my coffin, because I might as well have been dead.
Samson – Dude, in 30-40 years you’ll be almost dead anyway.
Gene – Reminds me, I have to go find a coffin this weekend so I can stick one foot in and live that way.
Samson – If you find two, you can have the largest and most morbid set of snow shoes ever made. Perfect for Florida!
Gene – I’ll show up to the job interview like that and ask them repeatedly if their desks can accommodate my coffin shoes.
“Are you sure? Because this is really kind of an issue for me.”
